Criticism from other people is negativity -- constructive or otherwise, and it’s a negativity that can be very short lived if handled properly.
What really matters is how the person receiving the criticism experiences it, not what the criticizer's intention is.
A face to face emotional confrontation designed to rip you up one side and down the other can be handled simply by -- silence, a blank stare and no responsive gestures.
The more your opponent tries to get you angered, the more frustrated he becomes, and soon he just shuts up.
If he queries why you are not responding, just say, "Would you?
" and revert back to the silent treatment.
You'll have no more trouble from there.
There is an energy emitted through your eyes (see "Exercise -- Eye Contact For Inner Communication").
An impassive, non-responsive stare jams or deflects the bombardment of the negative energy that the other person directs toward you.
Refusing to swirl yourself into 'synch' with a negative energy display leaves the other person frustrated, bewildered and exhausted.
To handle the behind-your-back criticizer, go to that person (without mentioning his criticism of you), and praise that person for the very thing that he is criticizing you about.
Many times a person criticizes you for the very thing they dislike in themselves, like a mirror effect.
By praising them on it, their insecurity is temporarily relieved and they no longer need to look at you so harshly.
If they criticize you on the way you dress, praise them on the way they dress.
If they criticize you on the way you talk, praise them on the way they talk, etc.
Always remember that patient encouragement, guidance and support are far more helpful than delivering criticism to people.
Don’t tell another person what to do, but let them tell you! Support a person where they are, and in whatever they decide to do.
This is critical.
Most individuals with suppressed emotions have them because of an experience, accident or other trauma and it wasn’t OK to express them at the time.
They need the trust and security that they are in charge and that they are not being pushed into anything that they do not wish to do.
They can stop when they have had enough, and they usually know when that time is.
You can be with them at that time and tell them that it is all right.
This is an exercise in assisting another person with emotional healing that you can practice whenever the need arises, one of the neighbors called the police, but unfortunately, she was already dead on the street! Visualize yourself as one of those neighbors for a few moments.
See yourself in their shoes.
What would you want to do?
Now relax, close your eyes and visualize the following: You are a man (woman) dressed with slip-on shoes, socks, pants, belt, shirt, hat and you're carrying a wad of money.
You're backed into a blind alley at 2 AM by a lone attacker dressed like you, but who has a knife and says he wants your money, and that he is going to kill you.
There is nobody to hear your cries, and you are not a martial artist, so you must think of something or you know you will be killed.
Now begin thinking of several things you could do in this situation.
There are no wrong answers, just possible options.
Afterwards, turn the page to see how your responses compare with the options on the next page.
For an added drill, relax, close your eyes again, and think about how you would react to the following hypothetical emergencies, if they would occur in your life.
1) Your car suddenly has no brakes, and you're traveling at 45 mph on a straight, level road.
2) Your house is burning down, and all the people are out of it and you're watching it as it burns.
What items would you want to save first if you only had 10 minutes to act?
3) You are jailed on a mistaken identity & witness a black man being beaten to a pulp in the next cell by 2 white officers.
Possible Options To The Alley Scene (There are no wrong answers):.
1) Say to attacker that you're involved in a CIA sting operation and he's being watched through infrared rifle scopes.
2) Say you're a cop and wired, and the money is impregnated with tracking dye, and that he's under arrest.
Talk into your wallet as if there were a microphone in it.
3) Act drunk and say someone already stole what little money you had.
4) Say you don't have to kill me, I have AIDS and will die soon anyway.
5) Say you are worth a lot more for ransom.
6) Throw the money suddenly to the side and dart to the other side and run.
7) Tell attacker that he's a movie star and is on a hidden candid camera.
8) Tell attacker your Mafia friends will find him and torture him to death.
9) Laugh hysterically and act crazy like you've snapped, jumping up and down as a distracting surprise, then kick him in the genitals and run.
10) Act crippled or injured or sick or feeble minded and cry to get him off guard, then throw the money to the side and run.
11) Yell in a loud, stern voice, “Come on punk, I’m going to beat you to a pulp.
” 12) Say you're a witch or hypnotist and going to put an evil hypnotic spell on him.
13) Act like someone behind the man just saw you both and has run to get the cops.
14) Make a face like Dracula or a werewolf and say "I vant to drink your blood.
" 15) Tell him you have a secret cache of money nearby from a previous heist that he might want.
16) Make believe you only speak another language, then throw the money one way and run the other way.
17) Say you're a Christian and you want to save his soul from damnation.
18) Yell above you, "Don't shoot him, he's not the one we're after.
" Then tell him to get lost before you change your mind and arrest him.
19) Say you're a reporter doing a story on criminals in the area, so if he kills you, he'll lose his chance to tell his side of his story.
20) Throw your hat or money in his face, and take your belt off to whip him with it.
21) Tell him you're a minister or nun (female) and ask him to confess his sins.
22) Say, times are tough, I don't hold this robbery against you.
You have to earn a living too, then throw the money one way and run the other way.
23) Act deaf & dumb and grunt to indicate you don't understand, while throwing your wallet to the side as a diversion, then run the other way.
24) Give him the money, but warn him you’re a martial artist so he’d better leave.